Here's to not feeling bad

Here we go, I guess...

If you want to feel worthless, I really recommend having a job. Especially retail sales. There is a certain je ne sais quoi to the way corporate retail sales milks a person, squelching a wet beaded chain of forced smiles and half truths out of you until, nine hours later, you collapse. Wait for another fifteen. And then try again.

I learned my lesson about that once, but not hard enough apparently. See, if you want to feel really worthless - REALLY worthless? - I can't recommend freelance graphic design more. Like sales, you smile through gritted teeth, but slightly differently. There is an upside and a downside. The upside is that the product is your brain. Well, your brain and a little dexterity and knowledge. But mostly the product is yourself. The downside is that boy is it a tricky product to hoark out on demand. That and the expectation that it's a hobby, a pastime, a requiring no effort. Your payment for making my logo and custom font treatment is "wasn't that fun?"

Well...it was a little. But I would also like this can of Spaghettios, sir. Is that too much to ask? Many people would say it is, and once you get shot down enough you begin to believe them.

I believed them.

So, why am I here then? What's the point? I guess I'm just asking for it. But, I'm also fortunate. Fortunate to be in a place in my life where I can take another swing at enjoying how I spend 40% of my life. Or maybe just 10%. Or 5%. It doesn't really matter. I just want to feel good about what I'm making, about what my output into the world is, and to feel good while doing it. Or at least not feel bad.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that "I do art to not feel bad." If you want to come along with me, there's plenty of room in here, and I'd love the company.

-JO